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Music To My Fears

by Josh Howard

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1.
Finest Hour 03:54
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This'll be your finest hour But you'll run out of time Cause I know you're a fragile flower And soon the sun won't shine And if you see me looking up today Don't let your eyes be carried away Like mine I hear the song you sing yourself And man, I hope it's real Cause when you're gone there's no one else To feel the way you feel It's gonna take so long I hope that I'm not wrong Oh no! You waited for so long and still the moment never came Is patience still a virtue if it hurts you all the same? If you wish upon a star Your dreams will not come true But if you're screaming hard enough Someone might notice you And wouldn't that be nice? Someone to give advice To you Hey now, settle down, it's not your time And if it never comes, you'll still be fine Just take this moment, and make it last Don't live for the hours, they go by fast
2.
Final Warning 04:02
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I see a bird flying down In a mirror of eyes The moon in the sky becomes clearer when you Don't know what it's shining for Soon it'll be time to put down your mirror And struggle just a little bit more I see lonely hands Reaching for a thing to forget Cause it keeps on happening every day But it still ain't happened yet Someone out on the edge of the water Is begging you to call their name Gonna keep on drifting farther Cause it's too simple to feel the same Got a word everyone wants On a level that nobody hears Unforgettable feelings, ever changing fears Living of the crumbs of tomorrow they swell Behind a skinny thing that you kept in the corner Like quarters inside of a broken machine Paying off the debt of a funeral mourner Too loose to wrap around your fingers Are the strands of dust that made you strong And under the only occupied space you Put them back where they belong Choking up on nothing 'til it All comes up so black and heavy It makes you smile, and sit, and wonder Is this what you asked for? And are you ready? Got a word everyone wants On a level that nobody hears Unforgotten feelings, ever changing fears Unforgettable feelings, ever changing fears
3.
Burned Inside Out 03:22
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4.
Hearing My Voice 04:23
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Such a long time to be waiting And I still don't know when Every time I get this feeling I go back to where I've been Guess it's too late to feel cheated But it still don't seem fair I can't ever be defeated If I really don't care And I don't wanna come this clean Tired of hearing my voice But I'm so sick of what I've seen That I'm left with now choice Do you still feel it was worth it Keeping tabs on every word Did you think that you'd deserve it, Keeping track of what you heard? And I don't wanna come this clean Tired of hearing my voice But I'm so sick of what I've seen That I'm left with now choice I was half asleep, I was sinking deep In a little dream I had When I understood, knowledge came so cheap And I couldn't help feel sad All I wanna be is to think I'm free As I look at what I do I'm so self aware, I don't even care What I get myself into It's a game we love playing And it's really sad and strange It's a shame, the things we're saying Is it ever gonna change? And I don't wanna come this clean Tired of hearing my voice But I'm so sick of what I've seen That I'm left with now choice
5.
When You Try 02:02
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6.
Until I Remember 05:35
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The weight that's passing through your mind Sets straight the thoughts you left behind You can't remember what you never knew And you're afraid of what you'll find It seems like every other day I'm trying not to slip away To just hang on 'til I remember What it is I need to say It's all coming back to me now I knew I would figure out somehow But I'm not ready I can't hold steady I'm not ready now I'm not ready now But I'm still waiting I'm still waiting Dry your tears until the colors fade And if the answer don't come, it's the choice you made No one hears half the words you say And the question's not answered, but the fear won't go away I don't know why you won't give it a try just one last time I guess you think you've lost your mind You say the path you chose is the only way to go And that might be true, but there's so much you don't know You sit and complain that the pain's too much to bear But it's a pain that you consciously made yourself aware I can't comprehend all the time that you spend on this one choice So much it seems you've lost your voice Sweet little one, are you coming undone? Well please don't lose your head I guess now and then it's okay to pretend, But your fantasies are dead Won't you smile? I know that things might take a while But maybe it would all be worth it If you would simply let it go Isn't it strange how things never change In quite the way that you want to? I never see you looking at me And I can't say that I blame you Because there's nothing left to say

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Some tracks recorded during coronavirus pandemic

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released May 2, 2020

Music by Josh Howard
Artwork by Haley Howard

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Josh Howard Shawsville, Virginia

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